Having Sex at Church

I have been involved with church work my entire life, which has turned out to be quite a long time.  There are times when I think I have seen just about everything there is to see about the church.  One time I heard a preacher sing his entire sermon, every word, like a Broadway musical, only not very good singing.  I have seen people fall in the baptistery, trip and stumble while entering the choir loft, and just about every other kind of pratfall you can imagine.  I have been served Gold Fish and chicken noodle soup for communion and eaten unidentifiable stuff at a church supper.  If I really tax my memory, I could make a list several pages long of unusual things I have witnessed at church.

It all pales in comparison to what is happening just down the road from me later in the week.  Normally I would not mention the name of the person involved in such an embarrassing event, but he is going to great lengths to make sure folks know about it, so I will help him out.  Ed Young of Fellowship Church and his wife are scheduled to climb up to the roof of their church building in Grapevine and spend twenty-four hours together in bed.  I don’t know why there is a bed on the church roof but apparently it is there.

In a stunt reminiscent of flag pole sitting from early in the 20th century, Ed and his wife will be spending twenty-four hours in the bed.  Alvin “Shipwreck” Kelly originated flag pole sitting and his initial foray lasted thirteen hours and thirteen minutes, far short of the twenty-four hours of non-stop sex planned by the Youngs.  Unlike Kelly in 1924, the Youngs plan to broadcast their adventure live on the Internet.

All of this is carefully orchestrated to coincide with the release of Ed Young’s latest book, “Sexperiment.”  It seems this is nothing more than a marketing stunt to drive customers to Amazon where they can purchase the book for $21.95.  As usual, it’s all about the money.  Don’t we have a term for those who use sex for money?

Young is more than fifty years old so he might need to get a prescription for Viagra before making that climb to the church roof.  Hey, we might get the pharmaceutical company to sponsor the event and generate an even bigger payday.  After all, God wants us to have good sex.  In Young’s own words, sex is about “recreation and enjoyment.” It seems only natural that God would approve of popping a couple of little blue pills to heighten the enjoyment.  I hope they have a doctor on call in case he has one of those four hour problems.

I’ve heard more than one Youth Minister tell me that their greatest fear was finding a couple of high school kids in their youth group having sex in the church basement.  Now it seems they should even be more concerned about the kids finding the pastor and his wife having sex on the church roof.  It’s not all bad news though; at least the pastor is not gay.

Call me old fashioned, but I have a difficult time understanding why we need to have a bed at church.  I’ve seen pictures of Young’s house and it appears there are plenty of bedrooms to be had.  What’s he going to tell his kids when he and his wife walk out the front door on Friday night, “We’ll see you in twenty-four hours, your Mom and I are going up to the church for some fun” as he gives a subtle wink.  Talk about being scarred for life – I hope they have a counselor standing by.

Church members will probably need to turn off the parental controls on their Internet browser before they visit the church website.  I wonder if you will need to verify that you are twenty-one years old before viewing the pastor’s sermons?

Another thing – how does he get his wife to go along with this stuff?  It’s quite common for guys to brag about their sexual exploits but usually women are a little more discreet, especially a pastor’s wife.  To listen to your pastor’s wife talk about her bedroom exploits is only slightly more comfortable than listening to your mother have the same conversation.

I guess the biggest question I have is what does this have to do with lifting up Jesus?  Unless there are some huge gaps in the New Testament record, Jesus never had sex.  The Apostle Paul suggested that if you are not currently married you should stay single to avoid the complications of marital life. I am not suggesting that sex is a bad good thing nor do I mean to imply the Bible has nothing to offer on the subject. But please, can we be a little more discreet?

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “Having Sex at Church

  1. Geoffrey Bray

    Terry, I think you’re going to have to do a little more “thinking outside of the box” to sell more copies of your books! 😉

  2. Now that Andy Rooney has passed, Terry, there is a place for your acerbic wit and wisdom at CBS. I can’t help but think of AR when I read your column.

    Keep keeping us thinking and laughing.

  3. Who said they were having sex for 24 hours? I thought it was just a “Bed-in” like flagpole sitting for two.
    I really never even THOUGHT they’d have sex during this 24 hours.

  4. Rebecca W.

    I’m with Clark…they aren’t HAVING sex, just talking about the benefits and how it pertains religion and marriage. If they are actually getting frisky, I think this might be the nail in the coffin for me and I really am giving up on America lol.

  5. Greg

    Perhaps they’ll bring God into it by saying …”oh, God…oh, God.” Then again, I hope not.

  6. From watching the video you linked to, and reading what they have to say I see nowhere that implies that they are going to have sex for people to watch. They are going to talk about sex, they are going to be interviewed, but nowhere is it implied that they are going to actually have sexual relations.
    I may not agree with his methods but I think the church needs to have more to say about sex. Sex is something that God was not ashamed to create, and yet it is like the church is ashamed to talk about it. Many of our problems in culture (abortion, rampant STD’s, ect..) can be traced back to when the church stopped reminding people the world that sex was only for marriage. It used to be that non-marital sex was a shameful thing…not so much anymore. We must speak on this, we must set the record straight. I have been told by many a married man (since I am not one of those yet I can only repeat what I am told) that sex, in marriage, is a glorious thing and to be celebrated -not run around telling people “last night when”….I know that- but nonetheless the Bible has a LOT to say about sex. I mean, you’ve read Song of Solomon right?
    You have to finish you paraphrase of the apostle Paul. He says it is good for a man to remain as he is, whether married or unmarried. He also says that “in light of the present distress” that should be done. What was the present distress? I have never figured that one out. He goes on to say that “it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” I just wanted to put your quote from Paul into context.

  7. Michael

    AMEN and bless you for a sane word about an insane, not to mention inappropriate act!

  8. Ashleigh

    You’re confused. lol

  9. Linda

    O my goodness, Terry! You have outdone yourself! I’ve laughed so hard I couldn’t see to read!

  10. David C

    Speaking as an ex-teenager with a heavy church-going background, I can say with authority that church is not the appropriate place to have sex. Anyone with a lifetime of church experience and the sure faith that God provides for all our needs knows full well that is the purpose for which God created Youth Camp.

    • Great point! It is always curious to me why some preachers think Christians have such a difficult time understanding sex. Why do they think they need to help us understand something that most of us figured out at puberty.

  11. I had a great laugh at your “take” on the “bed-in.” While Ed says there won’t be any “sexual activity” – it is the whole “tease” that I struggle with. I do believe it is about the money to be made from selling the book.

    Christian West
    lloveletters.com

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