I have been involved with church work my entire life, which has turned out to be quite a long time. There are times when I think I have seen just about everything there is to see about the church. One time I heard a preacher sing his entire sermon, every word, like a Broadway musical, only not very good singing. I have seen people fall in the baptistery, trip and stumble while entering the choir loft, and just about every other kind of pratfall you can imagine. I have been served Gold Fish and chicken noodle soup for communion and eaten unidentifiable stuff at a church supper. If I really tax my memory, I could make a list several pages long of unusual things I have witnessed at church.
It all pales in comparison to what is happening just down the road from me later in the week. Normally I would not mention the name of the person involved in such an embarrassing event, but he is going to great lengths to make sure folks know about it, so I will help him out. Ed Young of Fellowship Church and his wife are scheduled to climb up to the roof of their church building in Grapevine and spend twenty-four hours together in bed. I don’t know why there is a bed on the church roof but apparently it is there.
In a stunt reminiscent of flag pole sitting from early in the 20th century, Ed and his wife will be spending twenty-four hours in the bed. Alvin “Shipwreck” Kelly originated flag pole sitting and his initial foray lasted thirteen hours and thirteen minutes, far short of the twenty-four hours of non-stop sex planned by the Youngs. Unlike Kelly in 1924, the Youngs plan to broadcast their adventure live on the Internet.
All of this is carefully orchestrated to coincide with the release of Ed Young’s latest book, “Sexperiment.” It seems this is nothing more than a marketing stunt to drive customers to Amazon where they can purchase the book for $21.95. As usual, it’s all about the money. Don’t we have a term for those who use sex for money?
Young is more than fifty years old so he might need to get a prescription for Viagra before making that climb to the church roof. Hey, we might get the pharmaceutical company to sponsor the event and generate an even bigger payday. After all, God wants us to have good sex. In Young’s own words, sex is about “recreation and enjoyment.” It seems only natural that God would approve of popping a couple of little blue pills to heighten the enjoyment. I hope they have a doctor on call in case he has one of those four hour problems.
I’ve heard more than one Youth Minister tell me that their greatest fear was finding a couple of high school kids in their youth group having sex in the church basement. Now it seems they should even be more concerned about the kids finding the pastor and his wife having sex on the church roof. It’s not all bad news though; at least the pastor is not gay.
Call me old fashioned, but I have a difficult time understanding why we need to have a bed at church. I’ve seen pictures of Young’s house and it appears there are plenty of bedrooms to be had. What’s he going to tell his kids when he and his wife walk out the front door on Friday night, “We’ll see you in twenty-four hours, your Mom and I are going up to the church for some fun” as he gives a subtle wink. Talk about being scarred for life – I hope they have a counselor standing by.
Church members will probably need to turn off the parental controls on their Internet browser before they visit the church website. I wonder if you will need to verify that you are twenty-one years old before viewing the pastor’s sermons?
Another thing – how does he get his wife to go along with this stuff? It’s quite common for guys to brag about their sexual exploits but usually women are a little more discreet, especially a pastor’s wife. To listen to your pastor’s wife talk about her bedroom exploits is only slightly more comfortable than listening to your mother have the same conversation.
I guess the biggest question I have is what does this have to do with lifting up Jesus? Unless there are some huge gaps in the New Testament record, Jesus never had sex. The Apostle Paul suggested that if you are not currently married you should stay single to avoid the complications of marital life. I am not suggesting that sex is a bad good thing nor do I mean to imply the Bible has nothing to offer on the subject. But please, can we be a little more discreet?